Growing Independence: Tips for Parents of Young Children

Y our little one is starting to explore the world outside your home. This is exciting, but can be scary!

Children from 4 to 6 years old are:

• Beginning to develop their independence and form real friendships.

• Learning rules to more difficult games.

• Developing important life skills.

Set Limits

When children do something against the rules, explain simply and in a few words:

• That what they did was wrong

• What will happen if the behavior continues

Consequences need to be logical, meaningful, and simple. For example:

• If your child rides a bike without a helmet, the bike is off limits for a day or two.

• When your child won't share a toy, that toy can't be used for the rest of the day.

Create and Keep Routines

Teach about rules by setting up daily routines. Children do best when they know what to expect.

• In the morning:

  • Use the bathroom

  • Get dressed

  • Have breakfast

• At bedtime:

  • Take a bath

  • Brush teeth

  • Read a story

Take Time to Talk and Listen

Children feel important when adults take the time to talk with them. Talking often, and about many things, helps them gain self-confidence.

Assign Responsibility

When young children copy everyday household tasks, they are really learning how to contribute. With your support, tasks will soon be done with few reminders. As children grow older, they can begin to take on real responsibilities, such as:

• Setting the table

• Putting away their toys

• Feeding the pets

• Placing dirty clothes in a basket

Watch your child's self-esteem grow when given the chance to help out.

Encourage Independence in Dressing and Bathing

At first, this may take a little more time than helping your child get dressed or take a bath, but it is time well spent. Independence comes with practice, and with your guidance.

If you get the clothes ready the night before, the morning routine will involve only getting dressed. This way, your child can focus on just one thing.

Your child may need to be reminded of all the steps.

• "In the morning, when you get up,

• First, use the bathroom,

• Then, take off your PJs,

• And then, put on your clothes."

Praise your child's efforts and successes:

"You did a great job getting yourself ready for school today!"

Teach Simple Rules about Safety with Adults

Keeping children safe is an important job for parents. You want your child to respect and trust others, but you also need to teach your child to be careful.

Following are some simple rules and ways that you can start a conversation with your child about different safety issues.

Help your Child Become a Good Friend

Four- to six-year-olds are learning what it means to be a friend. They will have fun times as well as arguments and hurt feelings. It can be tempting for parents to try to solve these problems themselves or by talking with the other child's parent.

Instead, guide your child to solve problems. With your help, your child can learn how to solve social problems.