Bringing Home a Sibling
Jennifer Kalisvaart • June 12, 2025
Some Tips to Make It As Smooth As Possible
Welcome to the club! You are bringing a new baby home to meet the older sibling. Although as a parent you know you have enough love in your heart for all of your children and the benefits of a sibling are huge, sometimes there can be hurdles along the way. We have some tips and tricks on ways to ease the introduction.
- Start preparing the older sib early. As soon as your feel comfortable, start talking with the older child about a new sibling. Getting your child a baby doll that they can practice caring for can be helpful. If you are out and about and see siblings, point out the fun that they are having. There are a lot of books about being a big brother or big sister and these can start setting the stage.
- Expect some behavior changes as it gets close to the arrival. Kids are very observant. They almost have a sixth sense about changes coming. Often parents will say that their older child started regressing with milestones (like sleeping in their own bed and pottytraining) even before the baby sibling is born. Your child may also have some big meltdowns and tantrums that seem uncharacteristic. Roll with these as much as you can. This is how they are dealing with the stress they are feeling.
- THE BIG DAY! Make the day special for the big brother or big sister. For example, if you haven't announced the baby's name yet, tell the older sibling first and let them tell people. Let the older sibling participate in some early baby care depending on their age. This can be offering the baby a pacifier, giving the baby a special gift, etc. A lot of families will also have the baby sibling "gift" something to the older sibling.
- At home. Get ready for man-on-man defense! This is coming from the playbook of a parent who has done this a time or two (actually, two!). Babies demand a lot of attention, and the older sibling won't understand this. All they will see is mom or dad not being able to play with them or hold them.
- Have a special container with novel items in it that the older sibling ONLY gets to bring out when the baby is being fed. Some fun items are reusable sticker scenes, Play-Doh, a figurine set that they can play with, race cars or a simple card game such as a matching game or Go Fish. Try to avoid anything too messy, too noisy (as we know some kids' toys can be) or anything that requires too much space or thought. You'll be busy multitasking and feeding a baby, so keep it simple, but your older child may look forward to the special things in this container. Put it away after the feed is over.
- Try not to phrase things in a way that makes it sounds like you are prioritizing the baby over the older sibling. Instead of "I will help you after I put the baby down for a nap," try "In 5 minutes, I will help you" and set a timer.
- Keep routines. If your older child normally attends daycare, most people recommend keeping them in this if you can. Kids LOVE routines even the most mundane daily activities. It can be stressful to them to have the chaotic schedule that a newborn brings into a house so try to continue somewhat of a schedule at least for them.
- One-on-one time. Even if it's going to the park for 10 minutes, carving out some special time with the older sibling is important. This is good for the older sibling and also for the parent to have some one-on-one time.
Obviously, there is no instruction guide that comes with having a new baby. That's why you have use to help you navigate these new waters. HealthyChildren.org also has some good resources you can check out (https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/prenatal/Pages/Preparing-Your-Family-for-a-New-Baby.aspx?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=69654055&gbraid=0AAAAADyMpZGUp0yeLDt8cjf21-_HTXap3&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0qTCBhCmARIsAAj8C4bPkuXusUrhnDRhZPcBUBkbpug6RfToWdSjBr7oNdWNXj-vNQ5n-KIaAmL2EALw_wcB).
The discussion about vaccines has become forefront in our society. It extends from parents on the playground to governmental officials, and so we know many of you have questions as you navigate this issue. As professionals who care for children, our job is to look into the research and educate families as to the science behind childhood vaccinations. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has always stood behind a schedule that reinforced the need to protect children against life-threatening/life-altering diseases. Vaccine science has become so fine-tuned that children these days receive less of the antigen (illness-causing portion of the vaccines) than their parents or grandparents did as children while protecting against many more diseases. The diseases that these vaccines protect still exist. Cases of measles continue to crop up in large amounts. Whooping cough (pertussis) is common in our community. RSV lands tons of young infants in the hospital annually requiring supplemental oxygen and can result in death. And not uncommonly, there are outbreaks of hepatitis A that circulate in Spokane. We would love for all of these illnesses to be eradicated, but the truth is that they still exist and still pose a threat to our children and adults. We have the benefit in the US of having many educated researchers and clinicians who have tackled the vaccine question for decades. They know what circulates in the US, what poses the highest risk for our children and what we need to do to prevent mortality and morbidity. These are the people who we turn to in order to get guidance about vaccines schedules. We know that the news has brought into question vaccines and the schedule that has been validated for years. We know you have questions. We invite you to ask us those questions, and we will give you honest answers. Vaccines are not something we recommend to get "kick backs" or do so blindly knowing that kids are having adverse effects. Vaccines are the forefront of pediatrics and one of the biggest medical marvels ever. We are fortunate to be able to offer vaccines to patients and will continue to do so as per the AAP recommendations. Many parents ask if we are concerned about access to the recommended vaccines with the CDC changes, and at this time, the Washington Department of Health (as part of the West Coast Health Alliance) continues to advocate for the vaccines as per the AAP. We are always happy to discuss if any vaccines can be given on an earlier schedule if there are concerns about access. Here are some links for more information: https://doh.wa.gov/newsroom/west-coast-health-alliance-continues-recommend-vaccination-alignment-american-academy-pediatrics-aap https://downloads.aap.org/AAP/PDF/AAP-Immunization-Schedule.pdf?_gl=1*il3ebr*_ga*NDM3MjgyNDYwLjE3NjUyNDg0NDI.*_ga_FD9D3XZVQQ*czE3NjgyODE0NzEkbzckZzAkdDE3NjgyODE0NzEkajYwJGwwJGgw
As everyone has probably heard at this point, there are confirmed cases of measles in and around Spokane and all over the country. Our job as your family's pediatric provider is to provide accurate, scientific information about illnesses such as measles and ways in which you can keep your family and others protected. Measles is HIGHLY contagious . It will linger in a space for 2 hours after the infected person leaves. Often, we tell patients that you can do your best to avoid a sick-appearing person (maybe someone with a rash), but if you happen to step into a space in which a person with measles was within 2 hours of that person leaving, you are at-risk of contracting the virus. The MMR vaccines is highly effective. After the 1st dose, a person is 93% protected and with 2 doses on-board, the protection is 97%. We typically give the MMR at 1 year old and 4 years old; however, doses can be done as early as 6 months old* (especially if there is upcoming travel or concern for exposure during an outbreak). We can also give them closer together than 1 year and 4 years. We know there can be questions surrounding vaccines, especially the MMR. We are always happy to answer these questions, but in brief, there has been NO link between the MMR vaccine (or any vaccine for that matter) and autism. Someone who is immunocompromised is at great risk of serious complications of the measles virus, and since the MMR vaccine is a live-virus vaccine someone who has a suppressed immune system cannot get the vaccine themselves. 92-94% of the population needs to be immune to measles (by vaccination or history of infection) in order to limit/prevent spread of the illness. Some retro things are fun and cool... like My Little Pony, Lincoln Logs and Strawberry Shortcake, but one thing is for sure, and that is that measles is absolutely not. As a pediatric practice, we know how a successful vaccine can save the lives of so many, and we will continue to do our part to protect children. *A dose given at less than 1 year old does not qualify for the 2-dose series needed for school entry and confirmed immunity; however, it counts that you may protect your child against measles.
Safe Sleep Rules
Much like you get excited to announce your new baby's arrival, we have been keeping a little secret that we can't wait to share! We will soon be offering lactation services at our clinic with a certified IBCLC and RN -- Chelsea Wilhelm! She brings with her years of knowledge as a lactation specialist and postpartum nurse and an excitement for educating new families that is contagious. More details to come soon, but we couldn't hold the news in any longer!
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